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Heather Louise Porter's avatar

Reading this from the West African nation of Liberia tonight and it all feels so different from when I read posts such as these from my home in Colorado. Really, really different.

If the machine is here it is fully glitched, or, I’m witnessing life at its a$$ end. Almost half the population is food insecure, pollution, poverty, and the echoes of eradicated Ebola are still very much present and talk of a war that ended 20 years ago is still heard as candidates hold parties and close roads in advance of a runoff presidential election that will take place in 6 days.

I spent the day with children who walk 2 hours each way to school and frequently only have 1 meal a day, which is why they come to school at all. Before the food came they’d go to work. 5 years old, breadwinner. A school full of reformed malnourished baby workers. Parents that now come together to fundraise from the community to build cinder block storage with foraged roofs for rice and beans, for their kids without tools. Volunteer teachers, paid by parents, because the corrupt government assigns almost no budget for education. Food prices here match the west but wages are nowhere near the same, nor is employment.

And we complain.

Anyway,

I read this passage and felt strange. Ashamed. Privileged. Spoiled. Angry? Inauthentic? Empty? Seeing the sign of things that might come? I’m not sure, it all just feels like the transmission is glitching and I no longer know how to translate commentary from those who live in the global north / west, while billions starve, suffer genocide, and live out their lives in our waste and filth. Our arrogance comes to mind. Plastic is everywhere. No infrastructure. Trash and garbage and naked children all amongst it watched over by rotting buildings that once housed snipers.

Hope remains in small places here. I just have to wonder what right do I, do you, do any of us have to judge the machine anymore when we’re all pretty much fully cooked in the North? I really mean it. Baked to our gills. We are bathing daily in the privilege of our developed, functioning cultures, paved roads, education, clean water access and laws. We are also watching the control coming for us drop by drop and it scares us. But we have street lights, doctors, tools, and medicine. Oh, and literacy, books, seeds, and machines for spinning fabric from plants and wool.

Is this all due to the machine? I’m still trying to understand and I think I need help. I’ve read all of Paul’s commentary, btw. I’ve tried others. It’s all just really feeling superficial and petty all of a sudden.

My partner and I came from poverty, neglect, violence, and abuse and give grace together every day for the calm safety and stability of our lives. We’re not numb, we are so so grateful. We love our clean, safe home. We love that we have work and each other. We hold hands and give grace every single day, often I wonder, because we live with the ptsd of stolen childhoods and cruelty and maybe we give grace so evil will not come back and claim us. We know what it is to actually suffer, and viciously. We know in large part it’s due to the machine. We still give grace.

Michelle's avatar

I wake up very often these days with a feeling of what might be called “Weltschmerz”…a feeling of melancholy and world-weariness that borders on dread. Though I live in comfortable circumstances, I feel downtrodden over all that is happening in the world, not to mention what is likely to come. Then…I pray, asking God to come near and give me “my daily bread” that I might live a day - this day - in such a way as to please Him. And invariably He gently leads my head and heart back - and up - to the “small work.” I turn the compost pile; I walk my dogs; I make dinner; I talk with my husband; I pray for my neighbors, and for the peace of the whole world…and my spirits are lifted. “All of the best work is small work, after all.” Glory to God. Let us turn our hearts and energies to “the small work”, and be encouraged. Paul, thank you for sharing this.

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