I hadn't realised you were at Twyford too. Good times! Looking back, I am very grateful to have been there.
As for Christianity - well, like I said in the talk, Christ came to me. Last thing I expected, or really wanted, but it happened. The fact I didn't want it to be true helped convince me that it was.
I'd say you should do some research into early Christianity. You could start by reading the Acts of the Apostles in the New Testament. That explains how the Church began. The gospels were written within a few decades of Christ's death, by the way, by people who knew him. This common Enlightenment propaganda line that the 2000 year history of Christian spirituality is some sort of dastardly agenda of control is really a travesty. In modern terminology, in fact, it is a conspiracy theory. The only reason this religion (or any other) exists at all, and has lasted so long, is because something deeply powerful clearly happened at its start. All the apostles died horribly for their faith. That alone is a sign that something enormous had happened that they were prepared to die for. And of course those early Christians had no power or influence. Quite the opposite. They were a weird and often illegal sect.
If Jesus had just been a teacher, your argument would have some weight, but of course Christians believe he was much more than that - God himself, intervening in time. Quite a claim! But astonishing if true.
'Tolerance' is a curious one. It is true that tolerance is not a Christian virtue. That means that we stand up for what we believe to be true, and against what is false. But that is true of any belief system. It is clearly true of yours. And it's right. Nobody should tolerate everything. Some things should not be tolerated (murder, rape, lies - then add you own list here according to your beliefs). I think the question is how intolerance manifests. Christianity preaches love for all, even though Christians don't always practice it. Going back to the early Christians - they often refused to tolerate Roman pagans insisting they worship the Emperor. The result of this was their own death. As they died, they worked to love their killers. I call that a revolution!
Add this to the beauty of creation, and I think you have a good worldview. But worldview is easy - living it is the hard part!
Thanks Paul! My circumstances prevent me from attending most of your talks in person, so I really appreciate this and future talks being made available here for additional help in our spiritual growth.
Will events like the Against Christian Civilization talk be made available here? That is one I'm especially interested in listening to.
Thank-you Paul for your writings on Christianity. I would appreciate hearing your voice, as it is encouraging on this Christian path to hear another, God Given Voice!
Thank you for posting this - I couldn't make the conference and it was great to hear you. I was with Carmelite friars that week, and spoke with them about how my experience with the Carmelite tradition has resonated deeply with what I have understood / encountered in the Orthodox Church, only for them to tell me that local Orthodox had visited them and both had found much in common. The Carmelite friars and enclosed nuns are rooted in the East, Mount Carmel and the prophet Elijah. As for the old saints and the deep roots of Christianity to be found in Ireland and the British isles, I think you are right. I don't see any other church or movement capturing the 'Celtic Christianity' as is the Orthodox tradition. Some time ago I wrote to Catholic chaplaincy friends from university days in the eighties, and suggested we needed an Eastern rite for our isles, but the response was 'we can't go backwards', which actually left me feeling alone in the idea/ desire. As for 'going home'. When I have seen the Romanian pilgrims visiting the relic of Mary's sash in Fr Seraphim's recent videos, I was reminded of my Irish grandparents and I believe too, the generations before them. They had that kind of faith although many of their saints would have been more recent. Being in their home, with the prayers, the statues and holy water was like being in church. The practice of their faith and the life of prayer was seamless throughout the days, whatever they were doing. I know my grandmother had a pretty dismissive / discerning attitude towards parish priests, knowing the difference between those who sought holiness and were kind pastors and those who fell Into the (I suppose you would say something like imperial) tendencies that you saw when you considered the Catholic Church. So although Romanian, I can see how you have indeed made a home in the country and its landscape and people. What I round most touching was hearing the difference that becoming Christian has made - you have so obviously been guided well in your formation / transformation towards Christ. Finally, your experience of a lifting of the veil to see reality as it is. I remember meeting a Serbian Orthodox man at a Benedictine monastery in Turvey England, decades ago. He described something of his experience of God and God's relationship to humanity in a tangible sense of love and connection in pretty much the exact same words you used. I remember he would pray, alone on his knees for ages, in the two weeks we were there. He too had spent some time in Buddhism and I have often wondered where he ended up. He was called Mark. Keep an eye out for him. :)
It sounds like God really did pursue you. It put me in mind of the poem ‘The Hound of Heaven’ by Francis Thomson. Great poem!
I have been a Christian since I was 20…..I’m in my 50s now….but have never felt settled in a church. It really touched me when you said that the priest had welcomed you home.
CS Lewis spoke of being a Christian and finding a church as being in hall way off which are many doors. I have spent too many years hovering about in that hallway.
On a different note….relating to
Technology, in fact the very technology I’m tapping on now…..I often miss the ‘o’ key when I’m typing ‘God’ and so it comes up as ‘Gid’ and the little predictive text strip below never once offers ‘God’ as the alternative word!!
Anyway, many thanks for your generosity in posting so many different things…..as a ‘hall dweller’ you have introduced a new doorway that I would not have discovered on my own. Who knows!!
Fellow hall dweller here, peeking in some of the doorways but still nervous about stepping in!! At least I'm finally in the building, having wandered about outside for so many years.
Thank you so much! I find myself envious of how it happened for Paul, but of course everyone's journey is different. I will continue to pray for guidance, and trust that it will come with time.
Thank you Paul. I can’t tell you how helpful it is to hear these words spoken aloud by someone who is also from England. I also live away from England now and am also an Orthodox Christian (12 years). I could write a lot more but the main point is it’s very helpful, particularly at present when our small Orthodox community here is in a bit of trouble. Good to be reminded of all that is good and true. Looking forward to more from you.
Thank you Paul! Being a "cradle" Orthodox living in Greece, Crete I really feel that you are teaching me how to live as an Orthodox christian. Hope you visit our little corner in the world some day!
That's quite a compliment! I feel myself that your part of the world has a lot to teach me. I love Crete. I hope for an excuse to get back there one day!
-Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified. – (Is 43:26)
-You shall remember the Lord your God; (Deut 8:18)
-While I was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, And my prayer came to You, Into Your holy temple. (Jonah 2:7)
-The wicked will return to Sheol, All the nations who forget God. (Ps 9:17)
-I remembered God and rejoiced (cf. Ps. 77:3. LXX).
- I will remember the works of the LORD: surely, I will remember thy wonders of old. (Ps 77:11)
-Zechariah means “remembrance of God”
- "Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom" (Luke 23:42 )
- “Do this in remembrance of me…” (Lk 22:19 and 1 Cor 11:24-25)
Likewise, the importance of the Memory of God (Mneme Theou) is found abundantly in the Philokalia:
-The blessed remembrance of God-which is the very presence of Jesus
(St Philotheos of Sinai -Forty Texts on Watchfulness #22)
-Without remembrance of God, there can be no true knowledge but only that which is false
(St. Mark the Ascetic -On the Spiritual Law Two Hundred Texts)
-It follows, therefore, that we can know with certainty when we are in the proper state to speak about God, if during the hours when we do not speak we maintain a fervent remembrance of God in untroubled silence.
(St Diadochos of Photiki -On Spiritual Knowledge and Discrimination)
-Where humility is combined with the remembrance of God that is established through watchfulness and attention, and also with recurrent prayer inflexible in its resistance to the enemy, there is the place of God, the heaven of the heart in which because of God's presence no demonic army dares to make a stand. (St Philotheos of Sinai Forty Texts on Watchfulness)
- So, too, a man who merely practices the remembrance of God from time to time loses through lack of continuity what he hopes to gain through his prayer.
(St Diadochos of Photiki “On Spiritual Knowledge and Discrimination One Hundred Texts”)
This experience you had at the concert of your son.. wow!! I was in the car listening to this part of your story, and was quite overwhelmed. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this Paul, I’ve heard you tell your story a few times now, but every time it stirs something anew in me.
Today I’m curious as to what you mean when you say God. I recognize this is a vast and deeply personal question, and that perhaps any discussion on the nature of God is better left as a mystery to be experienced than a concept to try and be understood.
My experience has led me to perceive, and indeed at times experience God as the loving presence that animates all of creation. Life itself.
There is nothing that is not God- the ground of being of which we can either be in unconscious ignorance (leading us down to a state of disharmony/chaos) or conscious participation, thus discipleship.
But I get the sense that such panentheistic views are considered heretically mistaken from an Orthodox perspective?
I’m new here and curious to understand the way others perceive
Thanks for the question. Maybe it would be useful to offer three quotes from Orthodox Christian saints, which might help answer it.
St Maximos the Confessor:
‘We know God, not in his essence, but through the magnificence of His creation and the action of His providence which show us, as in a mirror, the reflection of His goodness, His wisdom and His infinite power.’
St Gregory Palamas:
‘God is, and is said to be, the nature of all creatures insofar as they all participate in Him and are constituted by this participation … He is the entity embracing all beings, the form of all forms as their origin and source, the wisdom of the wise and, in a word, all in all.’
St Joseph the Hesychast:
‘God is everywhere. There is no place where He cannot be found. Within and without, above and below, wherever you turn all things cry out: “God.” We live and move in Him. We breathe God, we eat God, we clothe ourselves in God. All things praise and bless God. The whole creation cries out. All things, living or inanimate, speak with wonder and glorify the Creator.’
Interestingly, the Orthodox Christian view of God has been referred to as 'panentheist.' That is to say, the energy of God can be experienced through his creation, which is sometimes seen as his 'scripture' (as opposed to the Bible, which was written by humans.) So 'God as the loving presence that animates all of creation' is a good description. God is at once beyond creation, and unknowable in his essence, and at the same time woven through it and able to be experienced in the mountains and the forests.
This is not quite the same thing as saying 'nature is God', of course, which would be pantheism. God is a creative intelligence, and humans have a purpose within his creation. He knows each of us, and loves us, and expects us to live up to that love. This is my understanding.
Paul: I'll be attending your talks in Birmingham, Ala, USA next week. I admire very much your challenging messages. I would however, like to ask, if you might comment on "Where is the Good News of the Gospel in the very dark picture you paint about the current state of the world? My understandinig of the Christian story of salvation history is that we are moving (if stumbling and bumbling) toward a time when God will "be all in all." Do you see this occurring? If so, what do you see it looking like?
Thank you so much for this. I love your spontaneity in the telling. As one who was likewise deeply resistant to organised religion and Christianity in particular, I am currently at the 'praying in my bedroom phase' having been dragged by you and Martin Shaw this far, deeply embarrassed! Not admitted it to anyone yet but identified as 'Christian' on a survey the other day.... Thank you.
I hadn't realised you were at Twyford too. Good times! Looking back, I am very grateful to have been there.
As for Christianity - well, like I said in the talk, Christ came to me. Last thing I expected, or really wanted, but it happened. The fact I didn't want it to be true helped convince me that it was.
I'd say you should do some research into early Christianity. You could start by reading the Acts of the Apostles in the New Testament. That explains how the Church began. The gospels were written within a few decades of Christ's death, by the way, by people who knew him. This common Enlightenment propaganda line that the 2000 year history of Christian spirituality is some sort of dastardly agenda of control is really a travesty. In modern terminology, in fact, it is a conspiracy theory. The only reason this religion (or any other) exists at all, and has lasted so long, is because something deeply powerful clearly happened at its start. All the apostles died horribly for their faith. That alone is a sign that something enormous had happened that they were prepared to die for. And of course those early Christians had no power or influence. Quite the opposite. They were a weird and often illegal sect.
If Jesus had just been a teacher, your argument would have some weight, but of course Christians believe he was much more than that - God himself, intervening in time. Quite a claim! But astonishing if true.
'Tolerance' is a curious one. It is true that tolerance is not a Christian virtue. That means that we stand up for what we believe to be true, and against what is false. But that is true of any belief system. It is clearly true of yours. And it's right. Nobody should tolerate everything. Some things should not be tolerated (murder, rape, lies - then add you own list here according to your beliefs). I think the question is how intolerance manifests. Christianity preaches love for all, even though Christians don't always practice it. Going back to the early Christians - they often refused to tolerate Roman pagans insisting they worship the Emperor. The result of this was their own death. As they died, they worked to love their killers. I call that a revolution!
Add this to the beauty of creation, and I think you have a good worldview. But worldview is easy - living it is the hard part!
Thanks Paul! My circumstances prevent me from attending most of your talks in person, so I really appreciate this and future talks being made available here for additional help in our spiritual growth.
Will events like the Against Christian Civilization talk be made available here? That is one I'm especially interested in listening to.
Yes, I plan to add anything I can. That one will either be posted here or on the First Things site. I will let people know which.
Thank-you Paul for your writings on Christianity. I would appreciate hearing your voice, as it is encouraging on this Christian path to hear another, God Given Voice!
Thank you for posting this - I couldn't make the conference and it was great to hear you. I was with Carmelite friars that week, and spoke with them about how my experience with the Carmelite tradition has resonated deeply with what I have understood / encountered in the Orthodox Church, only for them to tell me that local Orthodox had visited them and both had found much in common. The Carmelite friars and enclosed nuns are rooted in the East, Mount Carmel and the prophet Elijah. As for the old saints and the deep roots of Christianity to be found in Ireland and the British isles, I think you are right. I don't see any other church or movement capturing the 'Celtic Christianity' as is the Orthodox tradition. Some time ago I wrote to Catholic chaplaincy friends from university days in the eighties, and suggested we needed an Eastern rite for our isles, but the response was 'we can't go backwards', which actually left me feeling alone in the idea/ desire. As for 'going home'. When I have seen the Romanian pilgrims visiting the relic of Mary's sash in Fr Seraphim's recent videos, I was reminded of my Irish grandparents and I believe too, the generations before them. They had that kind of faith although many of their saints would have been more recent. Being in their home, with the prayers, the statues and holy water was like being in church. The practice of their faith and the life of prayer was seamless throughout the days, whatever they were doing. I know my grandmother had a pretty dismissive / discerning attitude towards parish priests, knowing the difference between those who sought holiness and were kind pastors and those who fell Into the (I suppose you would say something like imperial) tendencies that you saw when you considered the Catholic Church. So although Romanian, I can see how you have indeed made a home in the country and its landscape and people. What I round most touching was hearing the difference that becoming Christian has made - you have so obviously been guided well in your formation / transformation towards Christ. Finally, your experience of a lifting of the veil to see reality as it is. I remember meeting a Serbian Orthodox man at a Benedictine monastery in Turvey England, decades ago. He described something of his experience of God and God's relationship to humanity in a tangible sense of love and connection in pretty much the exact same words you used. I remember he would pray, alone on his knees for ages, in the two weeks we were there. He too had spent some time in Buddhism and I have often wondered where he ended up. He was called Mark. Keep an eye out for him. :)
Thank you for this. I don't know anything about the Carmelites.
In my view, you need to go backwards when you have taken the wrong road. Going forwards is not a virtue if there is a cliff edge in front of you ...
Thank you , Paul! I really enjoyed your talk last Saturday! Thanks for posting it. I even listened to it again.
Thank you
Thank you Paul for sharing as you go 🙏🏼
See you soon in Birmingham! 🤗
It sounds like God really did pursue you. It put me in mind of the poem ‘The Hound of Heaven’ by Francis Thomson. Great poem!
I have been a Christian since I was 20…..I’m in my 50s now….but have never felt settled in a church. It really touched me when you said that the priest had welcomed you home.
CS Lewis spoke of being a Christian and finding a church as being in hall way off which are many doors. I have spent too many years hovering about in that hallway.
On a different note….relating to
Technology, in fact the very technology I’m tapping on now…..I often miss the ‘o’ key when I’m typing ‘God’ and so it comes up as ‘Gid’ and the little predictive text strip below never once offers ‘God’ as the alternative word!!
Anyway, many thanks for your generosity in posting so many different things…..as a ‘hall dweller’ you have introduced a new doorway that I would not have discovered on my own. Who knows!!
Fellow hall dweller here, peeking in some of the doorways but still nervous about stepping in!! At least I'm finally in the building, having wandered about outside for so many years.
I have discovered there are more hall dwellers than people might think. Perhaps we too just need to simply ask God to send us a priest like Paul did.
I am very glad you are here and hope you find the right doorway soon Rachel….God Bless🙏
Thank you so much! I find myself envious of how it happened for Paul, but of course everyone's journey is different. I will continue to pray for guidance, and trust that it will come with time.
Thank you Paul. I can’t tell you how helpful it is to hear these words spoken aloud by someone who is also from England. I also live away from England now and am also an Orthodox Christian (12 years). I could write a lot more but the main point is it’s very helpful, particularly at present when our small Orthodox community here is in a bit of trouble. Good to be reminded of all that is good and true. Looking forward to more from you.
Thank you Paul! Being a "cradle" Orthodox living in Greece, Crete I really feel that you are teaching me how to live as an Orthodox christian. Hope you visit our little corner in the world some day!
That's quite a compliment! I feel myself that your part of the world has a lot to teach me. I love Crete. I hope for an excuse to get back there one day!
In scripture, Sacred Memory is everywhere:
-Put me in remembrance: let us plead together: declare thou, that thou mayest be justified. – (Is 43:26)
-You shall remember the Lord your God; (Deut 8:18)
-While I was fainting away, I remembered the Lord, And my prayer came to You, Into Your holy temple. (Jonah 2:7)
-The wicked will return to Sheol, All the nations who forget God. (Ps 9:17)
-I remembered God and rejoiced (cf. Ps. 77:3. LXX).
- I will remember the works of the LORD: surely, I will remember thy wonders of old. (Ps 77:11)
-Zechariah means “remembrance of God”
- "Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom" (Luke 23:42 )
- “Do this in remembrance of me…” (Lk 22:19 and 1 Cor 11:24-25)
Likewise, the importance of the Memory of God (Mneme Theou) is found abundantly in the Philokalia:
-The blessed remembrance of God-which is the very presence of Jesus
(St Philotheos of Sinai -Forty Texts on Watchfulness #22)
-Without remembrance of God, there can be no true knowledge but only that which is false
(St. Mark the Ascetic -On the Spiritual Law Two Hundred Texts)
-It follows, therefore, that we can know with certainty when we are in the proper state to speak about God, if during the hours when we do not speak we maintain a fervent remembrance of God in untroubled silence.
(St Diadochos of Photiki -On Spiritual Knowledge and Discrimination)
-Where humility is combined with the remembrance of God that is established through watchfulness and attention, and also with recurrent prayer inflexible in its resistance to the enemy, there is the place of God, the heaven of the heart in which because of God's presence no demonic army dares to make a stand. (St Philotheos of Sinai Forty Texts on Watchfulness)
- So, too, a man who merely practices the remembrance of God from time to time loses through lack of continuity what he hopes to gain through his prayer.
(St Diadochos of Photiki “On Spiritual Knowledge and Discrimination One Hundred Texts”)
This experience you had at the concert of your son.. wow!! I was in the car listening to this part of your story, and was quite overwhelmed. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this Paul, I’ve heard you tell your story a few times now, but every time it stirs something anew in me.
Today I’m curious as to what you mean when you say God. I recognize this is a vast and deeply personal question, and that perhaps any discussion on the nature of God is better left as a mystery to be experienced than a concept to try and be understood.
My experience has led me to perceive, and indeed at times experience God as the loving presence that animates all of creation. Life itself.
There is nothing that is not God- the ground of being of which we can either be in unconscious ignorance (leading us down to a state of disharmony/chaos) or conscious participation, thus discipleship.
But I get the sense that such panentheistic views are considered heretically mistaken from an Orthodox perspective?
I’m new here and curious to understand the way others perceive
Thanks for the question. Maybe it would be useful to offer three quotes from Orthodox Christian saints, which might help answer it.
St Maximos the Confessor:
‘We know God, not in his essence, but through the magnificence of His creation and the action of His providence which show us, as in a mirror, the reflection of His goodness, His wisdom and His infinite power.’
St Gregory Palamas:
‘God is, and is said to be, the nature of all creatures insofar as they all participate in Him and are constituted by this participation … He is the entity embracing all beings, the form of all forms as their origin and source, the wisdom of the wise and, in a word, all in all.’
St Joseph the Hesychast:
‘God is everywhere. There is no place where He cannot be found. Within and without, above and below, wherever you turn all things cry out: “God.” We live and move in Him. We breathe God, we eat God, we clothe ourselves in God. All things praise and bless God. The whole creation cries out. All things, living or inanimate, speak with wonder and glorify the Creator.’
Interestingly, the Orthodox Christian view of God has been referred to as 'panentheist.' That is to say, the energy of God can be experienced through his creation, which is sometimes seen as his 'scripture' (as opposed to the Bible, which was written by humans.) So 'God as the loving presence that animates all of creation' is a good description. God is at once beyond creation, and unknowable in his essence, and at the same time woven through it and able to be experienced in the mountains and the forests.
This is not quite the same thing as saying 'nature is God', of course, which would be pantheism. God is a creative intelligence, and humans have a purpose within his creation. He knows each of us, and loves us, and expects us to live up to that love. This is my understanding.
Paul: I'll be attending your talks in Birmingham, Ala, USA next week. I admire very much your challenging messages. I would however, like to ask, if you might comment on "Where is the Good News of the Gospel in the very dark picture you paint about the current state of the world? My understandinig of the Christian story of salvation history is that we are moving (if stumbling and bumbling) toward a time when God will "be all in all." Do you see this occurring? If so, what do you see it looking like?
Thank you. Jo G Prichard
Thank you so much for this. I love your spontaneity in the telling. As one who was likewise deeply resistant to organised religion and Christianity in particular, I am currently at the 'praying in my bedroom phase' having been dragged by you and Martin Shaw this far, deeply embarrassed! Not admitted it to anyone yet but identified as 'Christian' on a survey the other day.... Thank you.