As someone newly exploring Orthodoxy myself, and struggling with many of the same tendencies / traps, I’m really looking forward to reading more about your journey
Regarding going home, y’all might like Professor Esolen’s recent talk about pagan piety, the odyssey, the Aeneid, and so forth. Really worth listening to:
Regarding your overall focus, well, as Prof Esolen reminds us, focus derives from the word for hearth - the center of the home, where everyone gathers round. If your faith is your hearth, as I hope mine is, then everything you write will be written in its warmth and light. So go for it! Looking forward to reading it all.
Hard to go wrong with Esolen. I read his book on the prologue to John's Gospel during Lent, and liked it so much I bought a copy for my priest. No matter what he writes on, it's illuminating.
I witness to this post, your process, honesty and sincerity .How can i be sitting here in a scorching heat, a fan on full throttle. old ladies ....how i once looked upon them sitting in a rocking chair those praying grandmothers with a hankie tucked under their cuff, hard of hearing . how dull. my prayer , oh lord let me not become one of them. and so i am . your work is vital. i count myself grateful
to accompany you on this journey while in my rocking chair. bless you Paul. And so He has and I pray will continue to do so. kathleen
Thank you! And I really needed to hear this today:
‘Words and arguments can alienate people’, said the monk. ‘Silence and the way you live: these are the things that will show people the truth of Orthodoxy. Not arguments.’
Absolutely this. It's something I use to grapple with, but now, rather than trying to justify my journey along the Orthodox path, I just live it and let it be.
This is great - love the honesty and openness and that quote about the truth being a person, not an idea is mind blowing. Looking forward to meeting the saints again.
May your writing ever be the fruit of prayer. May you always write of beauty, goodness and truth, and remember that we find our truth in the One who is True.
Thank you, Paul, for the gift of your writings. The echoes of a too-oft forgotten aspect of Christianity, the simple life of prayer and solitude, are a welcome respite from this world’s pan-demon-ium.
I’m one of those fragile academics who’s dedicated his entire life to words and arguments, pinning things down and holding them still. Now I’m old and tired and I just want to go home. Maybe you’ll help me find the way.
The song is stunning, thank you! I was moved straightaway from the first line, which is true in my own case as well (or basically true: I have only one old dog). And the story of Oliver Anthony is remarkable in its own right, isn’t it? I’ve heard Paul and others (like Martin Shaw) say that there’s a major shift underway out there, that people around the world are being called. I believe it!
I'm becoming convinced that argument, as taught in the Lycea of ancient Athens and in the freshman composition classrooms of today, is fairly useless for persuading anyone of anything.
The issue, it seems to me, is that different people hold radically different premises and axioms, which themselves are founded on intuition and experience. So argument is only productive within a fairly narrow scope and between people with shared salient assumptions.
I have been thinking a lot about home recently, particularly since I have lived most of my life in a foreign country.
Now, I've pinned something down about home : home is my husband. That means that if/when something happens to him, there will be no more home for me, but... that's life.
I’m greatly looking forward to reading about the lives of the Saints. I’m just undertaking formal instruction in iconography with the aim of depicting the ancient, and somewhat obscure and numerous British saints.
I woke up at 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep last night and ended up reading from Richard Rohr’s “A Lever and a Place to Stand”... If I wrote all things I read that overlapped with this post this would be a very long comment.
I too have been blocked/dammed but for so long now I’ve nearly given up. Maybe hearing the following message from two people I admire in the same day will do the trick...
“So much of the Christian path - maybe all of it - is not about gaining anything, but is rather about stripping everything away so that the truth can be seen.”
“…stripping everything away so that truth can be seen.”
This is why the biblical understanding of the centrality, purpose and meaning of suffering is opposite to the world’s. But often we believers profess a desire to grow in the faith while hoping to avoid suffering. Yet we don’t need to seek it out, as it is God who directs our experience.
"Should I really be writing about this? I have asked, over and over. I don’t know anything.
The answer has always been the same, and it has always been: yes, you should."
Let me be the first little brother to say it then: No, you shouldn't.
.
.
.
I literally just signed up for a paid subscription to give you this, offer you this word, gently.
I did so because I love you and God willing- only he knows what path you really need to be saved- I want to spare you the suffering I caused and that it caused me, to not keep some silence when I was called into Him and His.
I'm a little brother.
But at least now you cant say *no one* "ever told me to keep silent about this when I first converted!"
a weak little brother is saying, dont write about this stuff. not yet, not so fully, yet.
Truly, brother, monks on Mt. Athos are monks yes but men yes; not all the way at the end of the race we all must run (recall, all St Silouan's problems were with brother monks. recall St Seraphim of Sarov was disliked by his brother monks and abbot).
Perhaps they are right to encourage you! Or... perhaps they like me want to win people to their side, and haven't discerned their heart that they would use you as a tool rather than preserve your salvation as a brother. God only knows. but athonite monastic creds is not your free license, dear brother.
But then I have my own war wounds, my own pain that may blur my vision in this particular case of *you*, your voice.
My wounds are on a much smaller scale than you, as I am a man of much more limited influence.
I'm 17 years baptized now. Made such a mess with my tongue in the first 2 years.
Still trying to heal myself and repair damage to others through my zealous flapping tongue when I first converted.
(your tongue is not flapping! Mine was. You are much more tempered, you are older and wiser than I was... it's not a "you" problem. It's a formal matter; but you may well be an exception.)
Enough said.
If you wish to know more about my "No", then feel free to contact a little brother.
Love motivated me to write to you. But I'm a fool and could be wrong. Nothing is clear to me... or what's clear to me often amounts to nothing.
I expect nothing and may God bless your decision! And all your works.
And save us both.
But I so love you and feel kindred to you in your loves. I wanted to make the clumsy gesture.
Might this "no" just be the same flapping tongue in action again?
In the end it's not about a monk's or a little brother's yes or no. It's about what God wants. And the person asking the question will have to find the answer in himself and in the church alike.
That's useful advice, and a useful warning, and I appreciate it. Flapping tongues are always directed by the devil, I think. Mine certainly flaps far too often. One reason I don't have social media is that I don't want to commit to writing anything that I haven't thought about properly.
I am committed to this path now, at least for a while. My hope is that I can avoid the trap of the flapping tongue by, as I wrote above, telling stories rather than digging endlessly into my personal journey. I don't know quite how this will pan out yet. We'll see. But as I say, I am going to do it for a while. Nonetheless, your advice is much appreciated, and I will keep it in a safe place in case I need it. All the best to you.
It took me a long time to figure out how terribly difficult it is to discern what is to say (not to say), when, where, how, to whom. It is a task where I am often caught, and afterwards I tell myself that I should have kept my mouth shut. (I am getting better at this ; getting older helps, but it is still a struggle. Almost always, when we learn something we learn it after the fact. That is the fallen world that I still love.)
Here, in this place we are speaking publicly, and some things need to remain private, intimate, even, because they ignite the world when they become public, for better or for worse, moreover... Maybe grace itself ignites the world when it becomes public, despite all our "good" intentions ? How can we be sure whether God is working through us or not ?
There is no insurance on this one, and nobody can give it to us.
At several points in this post, my mind was drawn to the book of James, particularly to chapter 3. The tongue--and the pen--can be the most unruly thing. It has the power to guide a large ship across the sea at the same time that it can stir up a storm. Like a fire, it can enlighten and warm. Out of control it can devastate millions of acres.
James 3 "My brethren, be not many masters [teachers, authorities] knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."
Perfect ❤️
I watched that as well I agree with everything that you've said, of course I do
As someone newly exploring Orthodoxy myself, and struggling with many of the same tendencies / traps, I’m really looking forward to reading more about your journey
Thank you and bless you!
Regarding going home, y’all might like Professor Esolen’s recent talk about pagan piety, the odyssey, the Aeneid, and so forth. Really worth listening to:
https://anthonyesolen.substack.com/p/the-christian-approach-to-pagan-literature#details
Regarding your overall focus, well, as Prof Esolen reminds us, focus derives from the word for hearth - the center of the home, where everyone gathers round. If your faith is your hearth, as I hope mine is, then everything you write will be written in its warmth and light. So go for it! Looking forward to reading it all.
Hard to go wrong with Esolen. I read his book on the prologue to John's Gospel during Lent, and liked it so much I bought a copy for my priest. No matter what he writes on, it's illuminating.
I witness to this post, your process, honesty and sincerity .How can i be sitting here in a scorching heat, a fan on full throttle. old ladies ....how i once looked upon them sitting in a rocking chair those praying grandmothers with a hankie tucked under their cuff, hard of hearing . how dull. my prayer , oh lord let me not become one of them. and so i am . your work is vital. i count myself grateful
to accompany you on this journey while in my rocking chair. bless you Paul. And so He has and I pray will continue to do so. kathleen
Thank you! And I really needed to hear this today:
‘Words and arguments can alienate people’, said the monk. ‘Silence and the way you live: these are the things that will show people the truth of Orthodoxy. Not arguments.’
Absolutely this. It's something I use to grapple with, but now, rather than trying to justify my journey along the Orthodox path, I just live it and let it be.
This is great - love the honesty and openness and that quote about the truth being a person, not an idea is mind blowing. Looking forward to meeting the saints again.
May your writing ever be the fruit of prayer. May you always write of beauty, goodness and truth, and remember that we find our truth in the One who is True.
You put this better than I ever could have. My sentiments exactly.
Yes, this is beautiful, Chris.
You are not the only one.
Thank you.
How true!
Thank you, Paul, for the gift of your writings. The echoes of a too-oft forgotten aspect of Christianity, the simple life of prayer and solitude, are a welcome respite from this world’s pan-demon-ium.
I’m one of those fragile academics who’s dedicated his entire life to words and arguments, pinning things down and holding them still. Now I’m old and tired and I just want to go home. Maybe you’ll help me find the way.
Seven generations farmin' the ground
Grandson sells it to a man from out of town
Two weeks later the trees go down
Only got concrete growin' around
So sad
The song is stunning, thank you! I was moved straightaway from the first line, which is true in my own case as well (or basically true: I have only one old dog). And the story of Oliver Anthony is remarkable in its own right, isn’t it? I’ve heard Paul and others (like Martin Shaw) say that there’s a major shift underway out there, that people around the world are being called. I believe it!
I'm becoming convinced that argument, as taught in the Lycea of ancient Athens and in the freshman composition classrooms of today, is fairly useless for persuading anyone of anything.
The issue, it seems to me, is that different people hold radically different premises and axioms, which themselves are founded on intuition and experience. So argument is only productive within a fairly narrow scope and between people with shared salient assumptions.
I have been thinking a lot about home recently, particularly since I have lived most of my life in a foreign country.
Now, I've pinned something down about home : home is my husband. That means that if/when something happens to him, there will be no more home for me, but... that's life.
Excited to read more. Walking that journey right alongside you. May we ditch the Western need for systems and embrace the Mysteries.
I’m greatly looking forward to reading about the lives of the Saints. I’m just undertaking formal instruction in iconography with the aim of depicting the ancient, and somewhat obscure and numerous British saints.
That's an excellent project. I'm sure you know Aidan Hart, whose work I love. May many more iconographers flourish in these isles.
Thank you. Encouraging words!
This is going to be awesome!
I woke up at 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep last night and ended up reading from Richard Rohr’s “A Lever and a Place to Stand”... If I wrote all things I read that overlapped with this post this would be a very long comment.
I too have been blocked/dammed but for so long now I’ve nearly given up. Maybe hearing the following message from two people I admire in the same day will do the trick...
“So much of the Christian path - maybe all of it - is not about gaining anything, but is rather about stripping everything away so that the truth can be seen.”
🎯 🎯
“…stripping everything away so that truth can be seen.”
This is why the biblical understanding of the centrality, purpose and meaning of suffering is opposite to the world’s. But often we believers profess a desire to grow in the faith while hoping to avoid suffering. Yet we don’t need to seek it out, as it is God who directs our experience.
Dear Paul;
Beautiful writing.
I did not get past this, though:
"Should I really be writing about this? I have asked, over and over. I don’t know anything.
The answer has always been the same, and it has always been: yes, you should."
Let me be the first little brother to say it then: No, you shouldn't.
.
.
.
I literally just signed up for a paid subscription to give you this, offer you this word, gently.
I did so because I love you and God willing- only he knows what path you really need to be saved- I want to spare you the suffering I caused and that it caused me, to not keep some silence when I was called into Him and His.
I'm a little brother.
But at least now you cant say *no one* "ever told me to keep silent about this when I first converted!"
a weak little brother is saying, dont write about this stuff. not yet, not so fully, yet.
Truly, brother, monks on Mt. Athos are monks yes but men yes; not all the way at the end of the race we all must run (recall, all St Silouan's problems were with brother monks. recall St Seraphim of Sarov was disliked by his brother monks and abbot).
Perhaps they are right to encourage you! Or... perhaps they like me want to win people to their side, and haven't discerned their heart that they would use you as a tool rather than preserve your salvation as a brother. God only knows. but athonite monastic creds is not your free license, dear brother.
But then I have my own war wounds, my own pain that may blur my vision in this particular case of *you*, your voice.
My wounds are on a much smaller scale than you, as I am a man of much more limited influence.
I'm 17 years baptized now. Made such a mess with my tongue in the first 2 years.
Still trying to heal myself and repair damage to others through my zealous flapping tongue when I first converted.
(your tongue is not flapping! Mine was. You are much more tempered, you are older and wiser than I was... it's not a "you" problem. It's a formal matter; but you may well be an exception.)
Enough said.
If you wish to know more about my "No", then feel free to contact a little brother.
Love motivated me to write to you. But I'm a fool and could be wrong. Nothing is clear to me... or what's clear to me often amounts to nothing.
I expect nothing and may God bless your decision! And all your works.
And save us both.
But I so love you and feel kindred to you in your loves. I wanted to make the clumsy gesture.
God forgive me!
In the shadow of the birthgiver's feast;
-MarkBasil
manorthey [at] gmail [dot] com
Might this "no" just be the same flapping tongue in action again?
In the end it's not about a monk's or a little brother's yes or no. It's about what God wants. And the person asking the question will have to find the answer in himself and in the church alike.
That's useful advice, and a useful warning, and I appreciate it. Flapping tongues are always directed by the devil, I think. Mine certainly flaps far too often. One reason I don't have social media is that I don't want to commit to writing anything that I haven't thought about properly.
I am committed to this path now, at least for a while. My hope is that I can avoid the trap of the flapping tongue by, as I wrote above, telling stories rather than digging endlessly into my personal journey. I don't know quite how this will pan out yet. We'll see. But as I say, I am going to do it for a while. Nonetheless, your advice is much appreciated, and I will keep it in a safe place in case I need it. All the best to you.
This is a beautiful and gracious response Paul.
Thanks for not cutting my head off... you would have every right given the way I presented it, and here in your own kingdom nonetheless! :)
May the Lord God bless your works then.
If you desire all the same to hear more from me on this, to understand why I said it, just ask.
manorthey [at] gmail [dot] com
... Now I'll go read past those words and see what I've been missing ;-)
I adore your family and your life path;
your little brother;
-m
Yes this--But I so love you and feel kindred to you in your loves.
I would say then (to Paul) to keep writing and helping all of us to "find" these loves.
It took me a long time to figure out how terribly difficult it is to discern what is to say (not to say), when, where, how, to whom. It is a task where I am often caught, and afterwards I tell myself that I should have kept my mouth shut. (I am getting better at this ; getting older helps, but it is still a struggle. Almost always, when we learn something we learn it after the fact. That is the fallen world that I still love.)
Here, in this place we are speaking publicly, and some things need to remain private, intimate, even, because they ignite the world when they become public, for better or for worse, moreover... Maybe grace itself ignites the world when it becomes public, despite all our "good" intentions ? How can we be sure whether God is working through us or not ?
There is no insurance on this one, and nobody can give it to us.
At several points in this post, my mind was drawn to the book of James, particularly to chapter 3. The tongue--and the pen--can be the most unruly thing. It has the power to guide a large ship across the sea at the same time that it can stir up a storm. Like a fire, it can enlighten and warm. Out of control it can devastate millions of acres.
James 3 "My brethren, be not many masters [teachers, authorities] knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."