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Steve Herrmann's avatar

Ah, Paul… sickness is a harsh teacher, but the saints and mystics whisper that it is often the only one we cannot ignore. St. John of the Cross would tell you that the body’s collapse is sometimes the soul’s last defense against its own ruin. You speak of burning out. Well, the flame must gutter before it can be steadied. Even the Desert Fathers knew when to retreat into their cells, to let the flesh rest so the spirit could breathe.

The modern world hates stillness, calls it waste, but the mystics knew it as the soil where grace takes root. Your body, it seems, is insisting on what your mind resists.

And yet, there is work ahead. A book, a tour, a voice to raise against the machine. Teresa of Avila would tell you to rest now so you can storm the gates later. Even Christ, after all, slept in the boat while the storm raged.

So, take your strange, unwelcome sabbatical. Let the mystery illness be your reluctant retreat. The world will still be there when you rise, and who knows? The silence may have given you something to say that you didn’t know was in you.

Prayers, of course, will be offered. But so too this small counsel from the ones who walked the hidden paths before you: Let the body fail if it must. The soul knows what it’s doing.

Rest well. The fight comes soon enough.

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Tim Long's avatar

Whew. Close to hone, this. On thd several occasions I've gotten out over my ski tips, physical or emotional collapse has laid me out. This more recent coming to terms left me with a new aortic valve stitched out of livestock tissue. I 'retired' from my volunteer church treasurer role as one change made, and find quiet contentment in maintaining my winter firewood stack and refurbing old bicycles for daily use. Old English bicycles, coincidentally. Your columns, have helped me navigate a saner path, Paul; if they were reduced by half, the navigational advice would still be of infinite value here. So, thanks.

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